My Journey Through Debt: Part 8B: Contentedness With Who I Am

Once I realized that I was spending money I didn’t have, on people I didn’t like, for things I didn’t need or want to do, I knew I had turned a corner.

It had taken me almost 30 years to realize that I did not need to please everyone in the world. That I did not have to have everyone like me. That there was absolutely no way that I could gain the approval of every person I knew.

I finally realized that the only approval I needed was God’s. It was a very humbling and hurtful time in my life. I was hurt that so many people had used me, and that I had allowed it to happen. I was also humbled by God’s grace for me.

I slowly formed a new outlook on life. My true friends stuck with me, even though all of the meals out, concerts, and extra activities were replaced by nights at home playing games, watching movies, and eating home cooked meals.

I found that these true friends wanted to be around me for me, not for what I could give them. This discovery helped me tremendously in the coming months and years.

Knowing that my friend set (and believe me, it was a much smaller set than I had had during my freefall spending days,) wanted me for me was mind blowing. These people were in my life and wanted absolutely nothing in return. I believe that it was God’s way of showing me His love as I slowly climbed out of the debt pit.

It was at this time that I started making better choices for what little money I had. Since I now knew that my remaining friends did not expect huge, luxurious gifts, I was able to give them smaller, yet meaningful gifts on their special days with the confidence that they would be appreciated.

I was also able to invite friends and family over for a meal that I made myself, at a fraction of the cost that it would been to go out to eat. I rediscovered old games from the basement that I hadn’t used for years. I also found that I truly enjoyed watching movies from the vast movie collection that I had built up over years and years of garage sales.

The bonds between our family and our friends strengthened as we spent more time face to face. My relationship with God strengthened as I spent more time with Him in prayer and in His Word.

As I said in yesterday’s post, contentedness, to me, is coming to a state of peaceful satisfaction. After fighting against my own self for so long, I finally gave my battle to God. He took it from me, and in return, a sense of peace washed over me.

Eventually, along with that peace came the satisfaction that I had so desperately sought for oh so long. The satisfaction came when I started walking fully in God’s Will.

Was my journey over? No. Not by a long shot. However, I now had my support system in place to help me on my journey. Make no mistake about it; the journey that you are on is not one to walk alone.

A support system of friends and family are extremely helpful during the times that you may wish to give up your climb out of your debt pit. They are there to encourage you, to cheer you on, to march forward with you, shoulder to shoulder.

I have come full circle in the realization and contentedness with who I am. Today, I will leave you with a story that I hold very dear to my heart and read over and over during this time of my life. Credit to Abundant Life Church for excerpts.

I love MAX LUCADO’s story in which he describes a fictional village inhabited by wooden people called Wemmicks. If you’ve read it then you know that Wemmicks are the creation of a wood carver named Eli who lives in a house above their village. All day long the Wemmicks engage in one activity. They give each other STICKERS. If a Wemmick is pretty or talented he or she receives yellow STAR stickers. But if a Wemmick is not pretty or talented, then all day long there are given gray dot stickers.

The hero of the story is a Wemmick named Punchinello. He had no star stickers and was covered with so many gray dot stickers that he rarely went outside and when he did he hung around with other Wemmicks who were covered with dots. He felt better in comparison to them.

One day he met a Wemmick named Lucia who had no stickers at all on her wooden body and when Punchinello asked her how this was possible, she directed him to visit his creator, the woodcarver, Eli. Let me read to you what happens when Punchinello takes Lucia’s advice and goes to Eli’s workshop:

Eli scooped him up into his arms and said, "Looks like you’ve been given some bad marks."

"I didn’t mean to, Eli.  I tried really hard" said Punchinello.

"Oh, you don’t have to defend yourself to me, child. I don’t care what the other Wemmicks think."

"You don’t?"

"No, and you shouldn’t either. Who are they to give stars or dots? They’re Wemmicks just like you. What they think doesn’t matter, Punchinello.

All that matters is what I think.  And I think you are pretty special."

Punchinello laughed, "Me, special?  Why, I can’t walk fast.  I can’t jump.  My paint is peeling.  Why do I matter to you?"

Eli looked at Punchinello, put his hands on those small wooden shoulders, and spoke very slowly. "Because you’re mine. That’s why you matter to me."

Punchinello had never had anyone look at him like this-much less his maker. He didn’t know what to say. "Every day I’ve been hoping you’d come," Eli explained.

"I came because I met someone who had no marks," said Punchinello.

"I know.  She told me about you."

"Why don’t the stickers stay on her?"

The maker spoke softly.  "Because she has decided that what I think is more important than what they think. 

You see, the stickers only stick if you let them. The stickers only stick if they matter to you. The more you trust my love, the less you care about their stickers."

Eli lifted Punchinello off the bench and sat him on the ground and as he did, he said, "You are special because I made you. And I don’t make mistakes."

As Punchinello walked home he thought, "I think he really means it." And when he did, a dot fell to the ground.

You are special. ALL OF YOU! All of us are PRECIOUS in God’s sight. And there is a great freeing power in that knowledge. When we know how priceless we are to God, stickers don’t stick and the cell doors in our lives swing open.
~Annie