The Sister I Never Had

When I married JP almost sixteen years ago, I inherited something that I had always wanted: a sister.

JP’s sister, SJ, and I were on cordial terms for years. This included small talk, always sticking to surface subjects that were safe and polite. It was nice, but I longed for more.

Fast forward to October 2005. SJ was returning from a year overseas. She had a few weeks before other obligations called, so she decided to spend those weeks with us.

To say I was nervous is an understatement. I had never spent so much time with SJ in my life. How were we going to fill the days? How was I going to entertain her? What if she hated it so much that she left early? Questions and doubts plagued me.

I took the train to Chicago to meet her. On our way home, I realized that she was extremely easy to talk with. Over the next few weeks, the walls between us disintegrated, and she truly became my sister.

I now understood what people meant when they spoke of the connections between sisters. We did everything together, from the excitement of climbing and dune diving off of Mount Baldy, to cleaning out the chicken coop. Everyday was an adventure with SJ, and I loved it.

One of my fondest memories of those few weeks together was driving down the road, explaining to SJ that our county was a leading producer of mint. She was instantly intrigued and asked if I would take her to see a mint field.

Upon arrival at said mint field, she immediately hopped out of the van and took off through the field, running for the pure enjoyment of running. It was an awesome moment for me. For the first time ever, I was witnessing someone living everyday to the fullest.

That moment changed my life, yet I never did tell her. It took several more years for me to actually embrace living life to the fullest. To choosing joy everyday. It took several more years for me to become comfortable with who I truly was, but SJ was the catalyst that helped me begin my journey.

SJ intentionally moved closer to our home for five years, partly in hopes of getting to know our new arrival, Little Bug. She was very successful in doing so, as Little Bug is Aunt SJ’s number one fan. After the five years that she had allotted, she moved away.

The move broke my heart. I miss SJ everyday. Every single day. Due to costs of travel, jobs, and time, we only get to see each other once a year. We definitely make those precious days count, but I cry every time I have to say goodbye to SJ until the next year.

Last night, right after finishing supper, I received a call from SJ. We are not really the “chat on the phone with each other” types, so I knew something was up. She was in town for meetings and had finished early, and could she come hang out with us for a few days? Needless to say, I was beyond excited, as were JP and Little Bug. Our sister was coming home.

So here is to my sister. To the “quick! Stop the van! I need to take pictures of those weeds and that pile of dirt!” moments. To the talk into the wee hours of the morning moments. To the “only you understand because you lived through it too” moments. To the laughter. To the tears. To the hugs. To the “see you next year” moments. To the “care packages sent just because” moments.

As Carol Saline said, “Sisters function as safety nets in a chaotic world simply by being there for each other.”

To my SJ. I love you so much. Thank you for willingly coming into my life and becoming the sister I never had.

~Annie